A Love Letter to my Grandma Clara
“It’s me, it’s me oh lord, standing in the need of prayer”! Those were always the words spoken by my beloved grandmother in her opening prayer. She reigned as the President of the Missionary Department of our family church for decades until she retired from the role. As a child, I never understood what she was saying in her prayer and I dreaded offering time at church because her prayers seemed to go on and on for an eternity.
Grandma (Clara), was the matriarch of the Peterson family. I grew up living 3 houses and a small patch of forest from her and my granddaddy (Willie). She was born on September 12, 1938 setting up a future lineage of amazing women and men that will come from her. My Grandma was the epitome of class, grace, humility, goodness, god fearing and at times the originator of “shade”. More on that later. There are so many things I remember about Grandma and what I admired about this amazing woman. She was my world next to my mother and the entire family knew of the love and relationship we shared.
Living so close to her and granddaddy afforded my sister (Tia) and I the unique opportunity to have more access and shared experiences with them. My mom and dad both worked from sun-up to sun-down to provide for their family of 4, leaning heavily on my grandmother to help raise us. One of my fondest memories I have, and there are too many to recant, during the summer months when school was not in session we would stay with grandma during the day. When it was time for mom to leave for work, early in the mornings, she would drop us off at grandma around 7am. Sometimes we would have to knock on her bedroom window as her bed was placed right next too it. Grandma, grandma, open the door! She would come quickly to the door in one of her old gowns that I swear she had hundreds of with her hair in rollers in her bonnet. The next move is where I think our bond between her, me and my sister grew even deeper. We all walked directly to her bedroom and climbed in bed under the plush warm comfort of her bed. She would pull the covers up and tuck us both in where we mostly would sleep another hour before she would quietly slide out of bed to prepare breakfast for us or we would talk and laugh about god knows what. Either way these moments lasted for years even after we were in high school and college. If grandma was in the bed in the mornings and we stopped in, you could find us in her bed as if we were that 5 or 6-year-old child. There is nothing like the love of a grandmother who is the lioness to her clan.
Grandma taught me so many life lessons. As the years pass, I appreciate and understand how important and blessed I am to have had those experiences with her. She schooled me on thread count. Yes, I’m a snob when it comes to appreciation of sleeping on the appropriate linens. Grandma was a big believer in clean, crisp and freshly pressed sheets. More importantly the thread count should be no less than 400 and no more than 1,000. The sweet spot for me is between 650-800 and anything higher is too heavy for me. The higher the thread count technically the more luxurious and expensive they become. They also become heavier in weight and less breathable to me. This was also Grandma’s assessment as well. Some may find this over the top, but I press my sheets before putting them on my bed. I’ve watched her iron everything after laundry day down to every sock, t-shirt and undergarment. Have you ever crawled into a bed that with freshly pressed cleaned sheets? It will literally change your life and sleep. Grandma did that for me!
Family diners were a huge part of our upbringing. If you visited her home on a night she was cooking or a Sunday after church she would insist that you eat. Grandma was known for her gardens. She grew all types of vegetables and one year she has the largest harvest of collards and butterbeans that we had ever seen her grow. For me her specialty was the following: fried corn, collard greens, chicken pot pie, peach cobbler, neck bones, pear preserves and her cakes. She literally was good at cooking everything. I wish I had watched over her more or insisted she write down her recipes. That is what we are missing from her that we could pass down through the family. My mom has taken on some of these family dishes, but she has definitely perfected the taste of the pear preserve spot on.
The shade of it all. Yes, Grandma had a little shade with her that we all enjoyed. She had some favorite sayings that I think as a family we recite all the time when we gather. Let’s start with the most famous of them all, “I don’t know them people”! I’m laughing out loud as I write these words because I can hear her voice with such conviction as she utters them out. Aunt Maryrose (her sister) would say, “now Clamay (nickname), you know them. They are your folks”! Grandma, “Maryrose, I don’t know them and they ain’t my family”! This saying from her is one that our family loves to repeat with burst of laughter afterwards. We call it shade in the gay world, but Grandma was so serious. She meant every word, “I don’t know those folks”!
Another saying of hers is Roger (my Dad) and Willie (Granddad), “don’t come in here with that the stuff”! Another family favorite, “Willie, I wouldn’t say that, act like that, do that stuff in front of those chil’ren”! She would then proceed to sit in her side chair by the tv and watch the family antics and perch her lips in judgement. LOL. It was so much fun and love in that house.
The love she exuded for her family is the best story I can tell about her. She loved her family. She would literally do anything for every single one of us. When I went to college and would visit home on the weekends I would either have some toilet tissue or some canned goods to take back with me. As I would start to pull out the drive way she would sometimes fast walk out the house and pretend like she had something to say and “smear” my hand with $20 and walk back from the car in silence as if she had just saved my life. To me, more times than not she had because I needed the gas money. LOL. Not only did she take care of her family with acts of love she shared that with the community and our extended family. She was a giver and I learned that was her love language.
There are so many amazing stories I can share about my beloved Grandma. I hold back a flood of tears as I write this love letter in her memory. My Grandma suffered from Alzheimer’s in her later years of life and she was sidelined to a senior living facility for the last 15+ years. She became just a mere shell of herself with glimpses of her essence in some moments. She had always been a strong-willed woman but her fight against Alzheimer’s was no different. She fought through many ailments throughout her battle with the disease and she would always prevail. Covid-19 takes 2020 by storm and things change. Grandma’s facility seemed to go the entire summer and fall without a single case of the virus. Late November the virus found itself making its way through the facility. Grandma was not so lucky as she contracted the virus and she succumbed on December 4, 2020. She gained her wings and took her rest with the heavenly angles and Granddaddy.
Grandma you have loved, lived and raised an amazing family that will continue to honor you in the best way that we know how. Remembering your legacy and living a life of love and gratitude. That is my promise to you and Granddaddy. Now that I’m older I understand what you meant by “It’s me, it’s me oh lord standing in the need of prayer”. I have needed prayer a many of times and have called out to god asking to guide and direct my footsteps. Thank you, Grandma, for your powerful word of prayer and for teaching us the true meaning of a good and faithful servant. Now, take your rest and lead the ushers through the collection of the heavenly offering. Rest well my beloved Grandma. Job well done and if there was anything not right, he has removed it. Your closing words of your prayer!
With love forever, Travis aka Track